mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
