You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
