Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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