Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
