every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We had sex on a dog bed..
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
