YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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