so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
