I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My penis needs a shock collar
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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