walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Another day, another engagement, another cat
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
