Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
