"it" just moved
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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