If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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