Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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