After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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