You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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