She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
