If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
