hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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