ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
