first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
