This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
