You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
