She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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