she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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