I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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