dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize