Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
did you just send me my own nude
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