How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
