dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My vagina is very pro this idea
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
