Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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