I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
