So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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