this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
