I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
