Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
