ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
