i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
