East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
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