You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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