Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
