Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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