They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
