so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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