How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
