what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
