evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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