Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Panties = found
Randomize
