he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
