i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
