Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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