never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Acid is not a monday night drug
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
