ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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